It is no longer a new thing to log on to any social media platform and see pictures like the ones below with the caption "Couple goal".
So many individuals are blinded by these beautiful pictures that they forget to prepare for the ups and downs that come with marriage. Instead they assume it is always going to be a bed of roses.
“When we’re together, I’m walking on clouds! I can’t wait to be with him
“We hardly have anything in common. Rather than marriage mates, we’re roommates. I feel so lonely!”
AS YOU probably guessed, the first statement above was made by a single girl; the second statement, by someone who is married.
What you may not realize is that both statements were made by the same person.
What went wrong? If you look forward to getting married someday, how can you prevent a romantic dream from turning into a troublesome marriage?
Fact of life: Much of your happiness in marriage depends on what you expect from it
So What can you realistically expect from marriage? In short, you can:
Expect benefits
Expect challenges
Expect the unexpected
Let’s take a close look at each of these.
EXPECT BENEFITS
Companionship.
During marriage two individuals obviously abandon their single lives to start up another as married couples. Thus we can say they make excellent companions for each other.
Partnership.
Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively.That is certainly true of marriage. It’s all about working as a team and being humble and willing to yield once in a while.
Intimacy.
Married mates enjoy sexual intimacy without the anxiety and regret that are so often the sad consequences of premarital sex.
EXPECT CHALLENGES
Conflict.
No two humans are identical—except that they’re imperfect.So married couples will occasionally have conflicts, no matter how compatible they seem. Sometimes they may even say unpleasant things that they later regret.Rather than idealistically trying to avoid all disagreements, successful couples learn how to discuss and settle them when they arise.
Disappointment.
We’re bombarded with movies,pictures and TV shows in which the girl finds her ‘perfect’ match and lives happily ever after.When a marriage fails to live up to such an ideal, both mates may become disillusioned. Of course, after marriage both mates are bound to discover additional imperfections and quirks in each other. The key is to remember that true love “endures all things”—even disappointment.
Anxiety.
Married people are anxious over toomany things. Such anxiety is normal and often even proper. For example, you may find it challenging to make ends meet. Both mates might have to work just to pay for food, clothing, and a place to live. But you can succeed if you work as a team to provide for your household.
EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
1. A REALISTIC OUTLOOK.
No matter how compatible you and your future spouse may be, you should expect that
you will not always agree on everything.
you will not always have the same priorities.
you will not always enjoy the same activities.
you will not always feel euphorically in love.
Situations such as those listed above are common. But they will not ruin your marriage unless you let them!
2. A SENSE OF COMMITMENT.
If you and your spouse are determined to stay together, come what may, you’ll be better able to weather the unexpected storms.
Some claim that commitment makes a marriage burdensome. Really, though, it does the opposite! Commitment gives your relationship stability. When the unexpected occurs, you and your spouse will look for solutions, not for the nearest exit.
To cultivate a spirit of commitment, you’ll need to think about marriage rationally rather than idealistically.
The bottom line:
Never expect marriage to be a fairytale that will end up being what you expect but rather anticipate the challenges that comes with it.
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